Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Tired...Too Tired to Come Up with a Title for This Post

At what point do your eyes just involuntarily shut and remain that way no matter what?  I think that time is approaching.

This has been one very long day...following one very short night.  Due to baby, pumping, pain, and anxiety, I slept approximately 2 1/2 hours last night total.  My alarm was set for 4:45 so that I could be up and out of the house by 6 to be at the hospital by 6:45.  I woke at 4:24 after a sweat-drenching dream and knew there was to be no more sleep for me.

I dreamt that my alarm went off, and I got up.  I looked outside and saw that it was raining hard.  (That part would be nice!)  Walking around outside the window were miniature horses.  I mean, miniature.  Like 6" tall.  And there was a newly-formed river due to all the rain.  A big horse was standing in the river.  Of course.

I proceeded through the house (which in my dream belonged to us but was certainly not our current house) and saw that the front door was wide open.  This freaked me out a bit.  I went outside and saw Bryan's brother Landon who informed me very nonchalantly that he'd seen a Mexican guy walking our dog the last couple of mornings.  When I asked if it was the escaped inmate, he said he wasn't sure.  Just that the guy was Mexican.  Of course.

The rest of the dream gets rather confusing to describe.  Suffice to say, the escaped inmate came down from the upstairs where he'd been hiding.  I tried to escape.  He followed me and had nearly caught me when I came back to a heart-pounding reality.  Oh, and he called me "Ma."  Of course.

I needed the remaining 20 minutes in bed to calm down sufficiently.

I did make it to the hospital right on time.  I was scheduled for a breast ultrasound at 7, but they had to delay me until 7:30 due to an emergency ultrasound.  I wondered if I would fall asleep during it, but I'd forgotten a fact which I quickly recalled from my one previous visit to the ultrasound room at the hospital.  They keep it at a balmy 52 degrees in there.

I was rather anxious about it all, but I had a very nice ultrasound tech.  And then the radiologist himself came in to do another ultrasound and explained everything to me as he went.  He was also very nice.  We chatted about kids.  And cell phones.  He explained he found nothing of any concern.  Thank you, Jesus!  Now, we just have to figure out what all this pain is about.  I am hoping to learn the next step tomorrow.

Kamryn and I finally got home about noon.  I had plans for a long afternoon nap.  Not to be.  I did sleep about half an hour, I believe.  Kamryn didn't feel like napping today, and she apparently didn't feel like letting me sleep either.  Bryan figured out later that of course she didn't want to sleep!  All the caffeine that I'd ingested in the morning to stay awake was coursing through her system all afternoon!  Why didn't I think of that?

When Bryan got home with Kyla who had been in daycare, I had a teeny-weeny meltdown with just a few itsy-bitsy tears involved.  Exhaustion does that to me sometimes.  Kyla had run out to the living room to tell Kamryn hi.  But, ever the observer, she noticed my tears.  Immediately, she ran and got a kleenex and brought it directly to me.  "Mommy, glasses off!"  What a sweetheart.

So with Kamryn awake all afternoon, I figured she'd crash early tonight and sleep all night.  I was right on the first count...and wrong on the second.  She did fall asleep early and didn't move when I put her to bed.  I didn't hurry about getting to bed as I should have.  Just as Bryan and I were turning off lights to go to bed, I heard Kamryn wailing.  Oh, why do I even try?

So here I sit, nearly midnight, and still awake.  I think.  Barely.  Eyes....shutting...

Go to sleep, Burrito Baby!!

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